Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
