I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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