Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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