I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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