I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize