i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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