I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
