College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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