Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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