What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
COCAINE IS GR8
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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