pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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