was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
