Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
