he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
