Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
