If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it