I wish I could punch you in the face.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i came on her dog
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At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
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you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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