I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
