You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
