I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize