i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
