My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
