we have pet lesbian snakes
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
