It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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