um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Pants are for mortals
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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