Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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