At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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