do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
