Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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