my vag is so smooth its legendary
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is Oprah even human
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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