It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
