I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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