there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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