If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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