I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
