even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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