haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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