i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he was CRYING into my vagina
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
