im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
