my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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