You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
