Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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