A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
