I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
