Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
