This girl is more easily done than said...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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