kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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