Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
