Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
