I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
