Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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