at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
