We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
birth control should be required to get into college
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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