on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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