I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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