New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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