My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
