They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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