that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
