Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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