No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
