It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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