I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
