batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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