She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
