Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize