I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
